So things have been well, I've been pretty busy, never making the time to blog, but always thinking about things to blog about next. This time I'm relating the whole process to finding your voice. See, for those who don't know, I sing, and i've got a voice that has some heart behind it. I'm just not sure what my genre is...same thing with this blog. I want to narrow it down to something concise that i can consistently blog about. But for now I'll just tell you how life has been.
I went out of town for a couple days with Brybry and danna and company. Out to the ranch house for a bit of country living for the weekend. It was a nice escape from the city, I woke up to see bambi right outside my window, and killed more than my share of wasps over the duration of the weekend.
Also new is my job as a waiter, I've been at it for about a month now, and I can see how people could support themselves by being a waiter. That said, I've decided that I do not want to be one of those people that does so for the long run, though i do love what i do. The people at work are great, it's great to have a new group of people to meet, like, and dislike!
Next, my pops is doing well, he's gone back to work, and we'll see what progress he's made after the doctor visit next week. The holidays have arrived and I'm ready to start singing the songs of the season...that way i can but off having to find my own voice for a bit, and juyst sing christmas songs for the season! That's about all i've got, i gotta hit the bed and get my beauty rest, more and bettter posts to come!
23.11.07
22.10.07
First Impression.
I'm a bit teary-eyed tonight. I stayed up late to watch Blood Diamond, and it was just as good as Oprah said it was! I finished up my training to become a server at a local restaurant in town as well. It was such a long week of training, studying, testing, and just establishing that paramount first impression for my new employer. I'm looking forward to it actually, I've been so anti-social lately. I guess it hasnt been a negative anti-social though. I've been very introspective...
Anywho, the whole week got me thinking about the impression that one gives off. That "factor" that helps your heart know whether a person is good or bad, friendly, or charismatic. I think that with the right mindset, one can really hone the power of impression, and have full control over the characterisics of the personality that one puts on display. The more i think about it, it really does matter what people think. Why? Because they think what you want them to think. Now don't get me wrong, it can be a losing battle, you vs. the world. That's why the first impression is SO important. So who am I, at the very beginning. What first impression do i most often choose to give off? I choose to be infinitely positive, and i like to intimidate a person to show off their best demeanor. I like to be funny in unconventional ways, especially in the beginning. Hm...what else. I like to be a bit insecure, but always confident in my insecurity, and I like to make people excited about things to come.
I guess this post was a bit more for myself, rather than the reader, but those who read might just learn a bit more about me. Perhaps you'll even ask yourself about the impression that you choose to give off. Whether or not you work on portraying differing ways of adapting, things like that. I think that's all i got.
Blood Diamond was good.
Anywho, the whole week got me thinking about the impression that one gives off. That "factor" that helps your heart know whether a person is good or bad, friendly, or charismatic. I think that with the right mindset, one can really hone the power of impression, and have full control over the characterisics of the personality that one puts on display. The more i think about it, it really does matter what people think. Why? Because they think what you want them to think. Now don't get me wrong, it can be a losing battle, you vs. the world. That's why the first impression is SO important. So who am I, at the very beginning. What first impression do i most often choose to give off? I choose to be infinitely positive, and i like to intimidate a person to show off their best demeanor. I like to be funny in unconventional ways, especially in the beginning. Hm...what else. I like to be a bit insecure, but always confident in my insecurity, and I like to make people excited about things to come.
I guess this post was a bit more for myself, rather than the reader, but those who read might just learn a bit more about me. Perhaps you'll even ask yourself about the impression that you choose to give off. Whether or not you work on portraying differing ways of adapting, things like that. I think that's all i got.
Blood Diamond was good.
16.10.07
Making sense out of none.
Gotta love a well designed product. In my inbox each day i recieve an email entitled "The Daily New." from Mossonline.com. This is one of my favorite products of all time! You can call it like you see it, the Gun Table Lamp. It's designed by Phillip Starck, one of the most literal designers of our time in my opinion. While I don't love everthing he does, I think that this piece is modern while also being historcal. And it makes something very beautiful out of something that's very violent. I have found that design and life share some similarities that stem from differences. It's like an oxymoron. When you can take an oxymoron, and realize it or present it in a way that invalidates the oxymoron, then you've achieved something. The impossible IS possible. The ugly IS beautiful. And the sooner we realize that, the better our world becomes.
p.s.- I've decided that taking the bus might not be such a bad idea after all. =)
15.10.07
Time is precious.
Let's head to the week after my birthday. THe main topic on the famil agenda is finding out what's wrong with daddy! His hip pain has become increasingly worse, and we had to schedule a biopsy because it looked to the doctors like we might be looking at cancer! So the biopsy rolls around, and cancer is confirmed, so now we just need to know what we can do to get rid of it and relieve my pops hip pain. Dad has been out of work for about 2 weeks by the time we have all of this information and money is becoming a growing worry and stress factor on the parents minds. To relieve things for the moment, we end up selling the car that i'd been using. this really puts a damper on me being able to go full speed ahead with starting a business designing homes out in dallas, or anywhere else for that matter. So Toshi and i finished up with the client we had, and get one more that will give us a lot less work, but something more manageable. This means that I need to find a second job in the area though, that i can get to easily, and with the parents help, so that i can quickly get money for another car and help out monetarily around the house.
Now a bit of delving into my mind during this time. I was really focusing on not sounding at all selfish on the outside, but i am really having some concerns as to what is going to happen to all of my own goals, my plans, and all that jazz. I felt confident, and still do, that my dad is going to beat this, but life as i wanted it to be was still going to have to change. I was going to try to go back to school, but that plan is put off for at least the next semester. We sold my transportation, so my plan for work was going to have to change as well, and I was already to the point where I was not going to do a job that I don't like, or do something that would leave me at a standstill. It's my firm belief that in order to make it ahead in life, in order to achieve your dreams, you can never settle. I believe that people will try to get in your way, people that you LOVE, can inhibit you from going places if you let them! I had already been unhappy, i did antidepressants already, and they only help people that are at a stable point in life, help you to maintain what already is. Thing is, I want better. So when the parents suggest that i find something in ft. worth to do instead of dallas and focus on working instead of trying to go back to school, I have to fight that. It's just not what i want. And when the siblings tell me that if i dont hear back from the job that i want to get then i need to just find something else that i can ride the bus to, I can't believe that that is an option that I'll have to take. Because I see better for myself. And anything less is just keeping me where I am, like an antidepressant. And I'm so done with those.
Finally, back to the family situation. After we get the biopsy results we find out that dad has lung cancer, and it's moved to the hip bone as well, so radiation and chemo need to start immediately. My dad is on lots of bedrest, and we return his company truck for the time, until we know more about when he'll be able to work at some capacity again. The money is running low for sure, but of course family and friends are taking care of us from all over. My dad has worked his whole life, and given up everything for everybody. He's 65, and looks great, he needed to know that his giving was not in vain. To know that there are those that are just as willing to return the favor as he is to give one. I got a second job waiting tables at an upscale eaterie, and i feel that things can only get better. I'm keeping my eye on my goals, and while some goals were paused for a bit, others were brought to the surface. Like helping the family, leaning on my friends for support, and being that sticky stuff that holds a family together. Things are going well, and while i can't ask for much more, i am not recieving less than everything from the family and friends who are being there for us though this experience.
Thanks dudes and dude-ettes.
Now a bit of delving into my mind during this time. I was really focusing on not sounding at all selfish on the outside, but i am really having some concerns as to what is going to happen to all of my own goals, my plans, and all that jazz. I felt confident, and still do, that my dad is going to beat this, but life as i wanted it to be was still going to have to change. I was going to try to go back to school, but that plan is put off for at least the next semester. We sold my transportation, so my plan for work was going to have to change as well, and I was already to the point where I was not going to do a job that I don't like, or do something that would leave me at a standstill. It's my firm belief that in order to make it ahead in life, in order to achieve your dreams, you can never settle. I believe that people will try to get in your way, people that you LOVE, can inhibit you from going places if you let them! I had already been unhappy, i did antidepressants already, and they only help people that are at a stable point in life, help you to maintain what already is. Thing is, I want better. So when the parents suggest that i find something in ft. worth to do instead of dallas and focus on working instead of trying to go back to school, I have to fight that. It's just not what i want. And when the siblings tell me that if i dont hear back from the job that i want to get then i need to just find something else that i can ride the bus to, I can't believe that that is an option that I'll have to take. Because I see better for myself. And anything less is just keeping me where I am, like an antidepressant. And I'm so done with those.
Finally, back to the family situation. After we get the biopsy results we find out that dad has lung cancer, and it's moved to the hip bone as well, so radiation and chemo need to start immediately. My dad is on lots of bedrest, and we return his company truck for the time, until we know more about when he'll be able to work at some capacity again. The money is running low for sure, but of course family and friends are taking care of us from all over. My dad has worked his whole life, and given up everything for everybody. He's 65, and looks great, he needed to know that his giving was not in vain. To know that there are those that are just as willing to return the favor as he is to give one. I got a second job waiting tables at an upscale eaterie, and i feel that things can only get better. I'm keeping my eye on my goals, and while some goals were paused for a bit, others were brought to the surface. Like helping the family, leaning on my friends for support, and being that sticky stuff that holds a family together. Things are going well, and while i can't ask for much more, i am not recieving less than everything from the family and friends who are being there for us though this experience.
Thanks dudes and dude-ettes.
13.10.07
Turning 23. (the foreword)
To start off my blog I'm actually back tracking a bit. Taking you back to September 1st. MY BIRTHDAY! It was a good day! I got calls from all of my friends, called all of the friends who hadn't called me yet. And my own venture into starting my own business with Toshi, was going really well! I celebrated the big 23rd birthday by having dinner at Uncle Julio's with a group mainly consisting of my friends from high school, and then afterwards we went down to the strip in the gayborhood and ran around for a few hours. The night was topped off beautifully with confetti being released over the dance floor while we were conquering our claim on the dance floor! It was a great night!
Things back at home with the parents were starting to get a little interesting though. My pops had some chronic hip pain surfacing that was really taking a toll on him. He's the sole provider for the family and being off of work just didn't seem like an option he wanted to or even could consider. So he worked.
Next I'll draw a picture of our social status at the time. We enjoyed the middle class life. Dad was driving a new F-150 his employer was supplying, as well as cutting back on his hours since retiring so that he can get more rest and focus a bit more on his growing love of the catering business. Mom had just been supplied the new car that dreams are made of, the 2008 Avenger. She wasn't working, but definitely kept her hands full as the housewife of the year. Did you know that a report on Oprah gave an estimate on the salary that a housewife would get if it were a paid position at over 100K? CRAZY!! I was looking forward to finally finishing up school in Dallas, taking out a final loan to pay for tuition. I even had reliable transportation gifted from the parents, I got to use the old family car! Things were almost perfect.
Finally, you've got to know that the big twist is coming up, right? Tune in next time to find out what goes down over the next month! It's good. Let us just say that it's a good thing that God never gives you more than you can handle, because the limits are about to be STRETCHED!
Things back at home with the parents were starting to get a little interesting though. My pops had some chronic hip pain surfacing that was really taking a toll on him. He's the sole provider for the family and being off of work just didn't seem like an option he wanted to or even could consider. So he worked.
Next I'll draw a picture of our social status at the time. We enjoyed the middle class life. Dad was driving a new F-150 his employer was supplying, as well as cutting back on his hours since retiring so that he can get more rest and focus a bit more on his growing love of the catering business. Mom had just been supplied the new car that dreams are made of, the 2008 Avenger. She wasn't working, but definitely kept her hands full as the housewife of the year. Did you know that a report on Oprah gave an estimate on the salary that a housewife would get if it were a paid position at over 100K? CRAZY!! I was looking forward to finally finishing up school in Dallas, taking out a final loan to pay for tuition. I even had reliable transportation gifted from the parents, I got to use the old family car! Things were almost perfect.
Finally, you've got to know that the big twist is coming up, right? Tune in next time to find out what goes down over the next month! It's good. Let us just say that it's a good thing that God never gives you more than you can handle, because the limits are about to be STRETCHED!
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